I was just sitting here thinking about u. Ur birthday is coming up soon and u were gonna b 30 once again!! U never got older than 30. I wish u could be here so we could call u an tell u how old ur getting. U sure didnt act like it though. Its so hard to live without a mom. U were a different type of person. The only ones who could understand u were ur kids. We knew no matter what u were there for us. Its just hard. I sit here an I wanna remember every single day we had together but its impossible to do, but I try. I remeber so much but I forgot a lot. I just wish I could go back to being a lil kid and cherish all my time with u. We never know what we got until its gone. I remember the day I got married. U missed it. But that was ok, cuz just when I thought u werent coming u walk in. That was u though unpredictible. There isnt a thing u wouldnt do for me. U would have gave e the shirt off ur back if I asked u to. thats how I wanna b with my kids. I want my kids to love me just as much as I love u. I am just sorry I didnt show u all the time.U had to go thru hell all ur life I am happy u r at peace now. U have waited a long time for that. B happy and look out for us. I love u
as you see ive moved in with kelly and heather and yes its cool i guess i really miss the kids a lot though i mean a lot i try not to think about how much i miss them cuz then it wont hurt as much. Im also having another baby mommy again i really hop this is my last and i feel like its gonna be a boy i would be sooo happy cuz then i was like you 3 girls and one boy i did it backwards but thats ok lol. I love you and i miss you a lot sorry for not writing you but i talked to you at least once a day and i hope ur listening i dont feel a lot of love right now mommy i need you to help me i think this is the hardest thing ive ever done leaving my babies. The familys not talking to me and i shouldnt even care but for sum odd reason i do n that makes me soooo mad. Mom i messed up again i let su guy get the best of me yet again and i really wish i wouldnt have it makes me sooo mad and robert doesnt help by makin me feel bad every time i talk to him. well mommy i love you and miss you a lot you baby titi
I still cant believe it is going on a year. How in the hell did we all get through this alone without our mom, I dont I do know that I miss you so much right now. Thinkgs have been really crazy as I am sure you know. The only one who is ok is Heather. I am tired of being alone without my mother it is not fair that other people dont apperciate their mother and we cant have you. You were and still are the best mother a child could have. I hear people saying oh I love my kids but you truely loved us. You would have done anything for us ANYTHING! You were a mother that anyone could have wanted. I see mothers who dont take care of their kids or take them for granted but you didnt and you are gone, how is that fair. But I guess life is not fair. It is so hard each day to not think of you. I sit here and try to think of other things but it doesnt work. And now Robin is gone I hope she is with you. You were all that girl had in life. I just hate the whole situation. Each day passes and there is always something I just want to puick up the phone and call and tell you.I dont understand why it had to be you. There isnt anything thing I swouldnt do just to see you and hear you laugh and talk to me for just a min. You have been coming to my dreams lately that makes it a little better. Mom I just miss you so much I dont know how to deal with it anymore. Please watch over all of us and let us know you are around sometimes just to brighten up a lifetime full of black days. I love you with all my heart,
Love your baby girl Kel-Bel
mommy
i was always your jay-bug, even if i didnt like it ... thats what i told you but i loved it.
mom im breaking dwon and really miss you , i think of you daily.
i hope your holding my daughter in heven and loving her up!
i dont know how to get through all this, it feels like you just left us... time dosent heal everything!!
mommy i just want to talk to you, thats all i ask.
there is so many things i still want to say to you so bad!
mom i always loved you, even in our rough times no one could ever talk bad about you .. no one could say SHIT about my momma...
right now there is alot going on and i really need you right now !!
justus misses you so much , it breaks my heart how she talk about "i miss my grandma vicki"
everything just hurts so bad mom.
i got some crazy news last week and between that and everything else i feel like im slipping away!!
mom please look out for all your kids , as this point in time WE ALL NEED you for diff. reasons...
I love you mommy!!!!
Hey mommy its my birthday in a couple days and ive been real depressed but i been tryin to keep it together for my kids. This will be the first year your not here i never thought that for my nineteenth birthday u were gonna b gone n thats really hard for me i really am missin you more n more n rubys birthday is saturday and thats hard your not here for her 2nd birthday. I dont know what to do i jus waqnna cry but i love you mommy n i miss you a lot. See you soon in heaven.
Happy Birthday mommy I miss you so much. I sat in the bathtub crying my eyes out over you. I thought id be fine i was all day untill i actually sat there thinking about you and i really miss you. I wanted to get you something for your birthday but remembered i couldnt because your gone. I even tried to have the baby for you but as you know babys dont come on my time. But at least i get to name her after you. You always wanted that so in a way thats my present to you. I just wish you were here i feel so lonely. I have the family now but yet i still feel so lonely inside no matter how many people im around i still feel lonely. I jus feel like a piece of me is missing. Funny thing though i cant remember what i got you last year for your birthday lol. Im sorry for putting you through hell for so long i regret it soo much and i get reminded of it by so many people but i dont care what they say because no matter how many arguments and fights we had we loved eachother and we were so close yet so much the same person. I get so mad when people talk bad to their moms i jus wish people would realize we dont live forever. The kids are doin good theyre gettin soo big but im sure your watching over them. Please mommy take care of my babys while theyre in foster care theyll be home soon. I miss you so much. It sucks that theres not even a place to go visit you for your birthday. No place to talk to you but this website but it will be ok. You will be at rest completely soon well mommy i love you but i have to go. But before i do i want you to please watch over me when i have this baby. Please make sure everything goes ok so i can have my beautiful little vicky safe and sound in my arms. And ill make sure she knows who shes named after. I love you. Love your second daughter Tiiffany
Hey Mom! I wanted to call and tell you Happy Birthday today but don't look like that is going to happen. I really miss you. I remember last year on your birthday we wern't talking because of something stupid and you had went out and got drunk and called me so I could wish you a happy birthday. I am really going to miss those late night calls from my mother who is drunk off her butt. There are so many things I do on a daily basis that remind me of you. I find myself rapped up in your green robe every night ( that is when Pablo lets me have it). I know the kids would have loved to spend time with you and enjoy the things you did as a grandmother, I am just sorry they will never get the chance to. I guess it just really sucks that you are gone. I still can't figure out why it was your time to go. Hopefully you know more then me, but them you always did. You would have been 43 years old today! (but to you, you were still 39) Please watch over us like I am sure you already do now. I love you mom and I hope you are enjoying your birthday with your mom. Love your first daughter!!
Life is crazy! One day you are here and the next gone! Who know that moms next birthday she would be gone. I feel like sometimes I try to forget that she is gone, maybe it will be easier. Yeah that works. I hate that my kids will never know her and that I can't call her when I want but most of all I hate that she is not here just to say I love you to. I know I wasn't always the best daughter but I tried. Mom was a hard person to love for most. Now she is a hard person to love even more. Now she is gone and whatever you did to her you have to live with.
I hate when I see people with their mom because I cannot have that no more. She is gone forever!!! I feel like a piece of my heart is gone. She was the best she did evything she could for me.
